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Old 12.9.2006   #1501
NEXT
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jet
me spis dostalo to "palomino bistro" nemate tam treba thoroughbred bistro, nebo barton bistro?
?emáme
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Old 12.9.2006   #1502
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zaklady anglictiny...

ANGLI?TINA: Fok ju vit jur fokin lesn
Americky - lekce 1.

Když si chceš objednat kokakolu musíš ?íct GIMI E KUK
Když si chceš objednat kávu a kolá?ek tak se ?íká KOFI EN DUNAT
Když si sk?ípneš palec ve dve?ích, má se ?íct FOK
Když v obchod? uvidíš n?co moc drahého, má se ?íct FOK
Když jsi p?epaden v Bronxu (nebo n?kde jinde), má se ?íct FOK
Když míjíš na ulici krásnou dívku, ?íká se UATA FOK
Když na tebe n?kdo k?i?í a používá slovo FOK máš mu odpov?d?t FOKJUTU
Když ztratíš pen?ženku s dokumenty, máš ?íct policistovi AJ LOST MAJ FOKIN PEJPRS
Když se chceš vyspat s tou p?knou blondýnkou, máš ji pov?d?t AJ UANA FOK UIZ JU
nebo HAU KEN AJ FOKJU
Když hledáš taxík, máš se zeptat HAU TU GET A FOKIN KAB
Když n?co nefunguje, máš ?íct FOK ZAT SZIT
Když té n?kdo roz?iluje máš se zeptat ARJU FOKIN MI?
Když to nefunguje tak UAT DA FOK JU UONT?
A te? si zkusíme celé v?ty:
Když t? stará paní poprosí o p?evedení na druhou stranu ulice odpovídáme ji tímto:
AR JU FOKIN STJUPI BICZ ?
[ano, samoz?ejm?]

Když si chceš koupit kilo jablek
GIMI E KILO FOKIN EJPLS, MOTOFOKO
[prosím o kilogram t?ch nádherných jablek, pane prodava?i]

Když ?idi? autobusu chce od tebe jízdenku
AR JU FOKIN KREJZI ESHOL?
[ano, hned Vám ji ukážu]

V obchod?, když reklamuješ špatn? zboží
SZIT MEN , JU EW SOLD MI A SOME FOKIN SZIT, JU DEMBES FOKIN MOTOFOKO SZITTY DIK.
[prodali jste mi prošlou konzervu]

Když se zraníš na ruce, nap?. nožem
OULI SZIT, FOK FOK FOK FOK! FOOOK!
[au]

Když t? bezdomovec - ?ernošský žebrák poprosí o peníze
GET DA FOK AUT OF HIR BIFOR ILJ KICK JO MOTOFOKIN SZIT ES
[nezlobte se, ale nemám drobné]

Když stojíš v zácp? a jiní ?idi?i na tebe troubí
UAN MOR UORD END IJL GET JOR FOKIN ES AUT FROM DA KA END FOK UP HIR JU NESTI MOTOFOKIN BICZ
[jen se neroz?ilujte, protože se to stejn? nezrychlí]
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Old 12.9.2006   #1503
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to mi p?ipomíná jeden vtípek co jsem slyšel... možná to n?kdo má. ital volal do rádia a vypráv?l svoje zážitky z dovolené v USA.. a jak díky své špatné výslovnosti angli?ntiny m?l trable...

v restauraci... "aj vot tu pis on a plejt" "j? betr not pis on a plate j? sanama bi?" atd
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Old 12.9.2006   #1504
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabelhirsch
to mi p?ipomíná jeden vtípek co jsem slyšel... možná to n?kdo má. ital volal do rádia a vypráv?l svoje zážitky z dovolené v USA.. a jak díky své špatné výslovnosti angli?ntiny m?l trable...

v restauraci... "aj vot tu pis on a plejt" "j? betr not pis on a plate j? sanama bi?" atd
jj, mazec

EDIT: "hý sed pís on ju end aj sed pis on ju tu"
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Old 12.9.2006   #1505
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... aj vont fok on d tejbl...
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Old 13.9.2006   #1506
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...sem ten kibl mi dej, du uen blejt.
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Old 13.9.2006   #1507
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demoli?ní video
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Old 13.9.2006   #1508
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabelhirsch
to mi p?ipomíná jeden vtípek co jsem slyšel... možná to n?kdo má. ital volal do rádia a vypráv?l svoje zážitky z dovolené v USA.. a jak díky své špatné výslovnosti angli?ntiny m?l trable...

v restauraci... "aj vot tu pis on a plejt" "j? betr not pis on a plate j? sanama bi?" atd
Tohle myslis?

One day ina gonna Detroit to a bigga hotel. Inna morning i go down to breakfast. I tella the waitress i wanna two pisses of toast. She bringa me one piss. I tella two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna plate. She say you better no piss onna the plate, you sonna a bitch.
Later i go out to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress bring back me a spoon and knife and no fock. I tell her i wanna fock. She tells me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better no fock onna table, you sonna a bitch.
So i go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I calla the manager and tell him I wanna shit. He tells me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna shit onna the bed. He say you better not shit onna the bed, you sonna a bitch.
I go to the check-out and the man at the desk say " Peace on you ", I say " piss onna you too you sonna a bitch, I gonna back to Italy ".
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Old 13.9.2006   #1509
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jj to je ono
ale v mp3 je to da best...
sem se u toho malem pochcal...
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Old 13.9.2006   #1510
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peet.cz
jj to je ono
ale v mp3 je to da best...
sem se u toho malem pochcal...
nebyla by ta mp3jka nekde ke stazeni?
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Old 13.9.2006   #1511
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bohuzel
kdysi sem to mel, ale uz to je nejakej ten patek
kdyby to nekdo mel, tak by to mohl nekam nahodit
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Old 13.9.2006   #1512
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to mi pripomnelo jeden, jak v lepsim ceskem hotelu zvoni telefon na recepci, pikolik to zvedne a ono se ozve: "two rums to room two two two". pikolik se zamysli a povida: " tramtadada da, ty debile...."
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Old 14.9.2006   #1513
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jj ten je dobrej
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Old 14.9.2006   #1514
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http://my.break.com/Media/View.aspx?ContentID=141886
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Old 15.9.2006   #1515
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrazak
Tohle myslis?

One day ina gonna Detroit
az na to ze byl na Malte, ne v Detroitu
tady to mate i s obrazkama

EDIT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ondrejko
narez, myslim, ze tu mame novy modni trend, tohle by se mohlo chytit, jdu si postavit fabriku a najmout inzenyry a par ukrajincu a hura na masovou produkci specialnich stuntovacich koleckovych kresel

EDIT2: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/84919/smart_animals/ nejvic se mi libil asi ten ptak, peknej vychcavka
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Last edited by NEXT; 15.9.2006 at 23:59.
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Old 16.9.2006   #1516
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgTFFP2wSGE
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Old 16.9.2006   #1517
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nojWJ6-XmeQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7K-Vhog9V0
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Old 17.9.2006   #1518
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"Zdravím divákov Teleshoppingu! Volám sa Chuck Norris a chcel by som Vám predstavi? Kosmodisk. Nosím ho odvtedy, ?o som si do*ebal kríže na Total Gyme..."
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Old 17.9.2006   #1519
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U toho prvního by m?lo být spíš: "Use shotgun"

EDIT: taky p?kný http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j9Pu...elated&search=
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Old 17.9.2006   #1520
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:-D :-D :-D
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