Czech Live For Speed Zone  

Go Back   Czech Live For Speed Zone > Jiné > Offtopic
Reload this Page Vtipy pro zlepšení nálady...
FAQ Members List Calendar Today's Posts

Reply
Page 76 of 284 « First < 266669707172737475 76 7778798081828386126176 > Last »
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12.9.2006   #1501
NEXT
Regular Member

 
NEXT's Avatar
 
Join Date: 17.1.2006
Posts: 555
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by jet
me spis dostalo to "palomino bistro" nemate tam treba thoroughbred bistro, nebo barton bistro?
?emáme
__________________
Motorstorm Racing
Logitech DFP, I Live for Speed since 10/2004, S2 Licenced since 28.2.2006
NEXT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12.9.2006   #1502
Peet.cz
Member

 
Peet.cz's Avatar
 
Join Date: 15.6.2005
Location: Brno
Posts: 138
Default
zaklady anglictiny...

ANGLI?TINA: Fok ju vit jur fokin lesn
Americky - lekce 1.

Když si chceš objednat kokakolu musíš ?íct GIMI E KUK
Když si chceš objednat kávu a kolá?ek tak se ?íká KOFI EN DUNAT
Když si sk?ípneš palec ve dve?ích, má se ?íct FOK
Když v obchod? uvidíš n?co moc drahého, má se ?íct FOK
Když jsi p?epaden v Bronxu (nebo n?kde jinde), má se ?íct FOK
Když míjíš na ulici krásnou dívku, ?íká se UATA FOK
Když na tebe n?kdo k?i?í a používá slovo FOK máš mu odpov?d?t FOKJUTU
Když ztratíš pen?ženku s dokumenty, máš ?íct policistovi AJ LOST MAJ FOKIN PEJPRS
Když se chceš vyspat s tou p?knou blondýnkou, máš ji pov?d?t AJ UANA FOK UIZ JU
nebo HAU KEN AJ FOKJU
Když hledáš taxík, máš se zeptat HAU TU GET A FOKIN KAB
Když n?co nefunguje, máš ?íct FOK ZAT SZIT
Když té n?kdo roz?iluje máš se zeptat ARJU FOKIN MI?
Když to nefunguje tak UAT DA FOK JU UONT?
A te? si zkusíme celé v?ty:
Když t? stará paní poprosí o p?evedení na druhou stranu ulice odpovídáme ji tímto:
AR JU FOKIN STJUPI BICZ ?
[ano, samoz?ejm?]

Když si chceš koupit kilo jablek
GIMI E KILO FOKIN EJPLS, MOTOFOKO
[prosím o kilogram t?ch nádherných jablek, pane prodava?i]

Když ?idi? autobusu chce od tebe jízdenku
AR JU FOKIN KREJZI ESHOL?
[ano, hned Vám ji ukážu]

V obchod?, když reklamuješ špatn? zboží
SZIT MEN , JU EW SOLD MI A SOME FOKIN SZIT, JU DEMBES FOKIN MOTOFOKO SZITTY DIK.
[prodali jste mi prošlou konzervu]

Když se zraníš na ruce, nap?. nožem
OULI SZIT, FOK FOK FOK FOK! FOOOK!
[au]

Když t? bezdomovec - ?ernošský žebrák poprosí o peníze
GET DA FOK AUT OF HIR BIFOR ILJ KICK JO MOTOFOKIN SZIT ES
[nezlobte se, ale nemám drobné]

Když stojíš v zácp? a jiní ?idi?i na tebe troubí
UAN MOR UORD END IJL GET JOR FOKIN ES AUT FROM DA KA END FOK UP HIR JU NESTI MOTOFOKIN BICZ
[jen se neroz?ilujte, protože se to stejn? nezrychlí]
__________________

TEAM : KnipeX-Racing
Peet.cz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12.9.2006   #1503
Gabelhirsch
Regular Member

 
Gabelhirsch's Avatar
 
Join Date: 22.4.2005
Location: Hromnice
Posts: 673
Default
to mi p?ipomíná jeden vtípek co jsem slyšel... možná to n?kdo má. ital volal do rádia a vypráv?l svoje zážitky z dovolené v USA.. a jak díky své špatné výslovnosti angli?ntiny m?l trable...

v restauraci... "aj vot tu pis on a plejt" "j? betr not pis on a plate j? sanama bi?" atd
__________________
Team: ACTUAL LINUX e-Racing Team . . . . . . Sponzor: ACTUAL LINUX s.r.o.
Jabber: alert.gabel(zavinac)jabber.actual.cz . . MSN: gabelhirsch(zavinac)hotmail.com
S1 + S2 since 2005-08-04 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . láska na první svodidla
Gabelhirsch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12.9.2006   #1504
zipper
LFS Guru

 
zipper's Avatar
 
Join Date: 10.9.2005
Location: Brno
Posts: 1 601
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabelhirsch
to mi p?ipomíná jeden vtípek co jsem slyšel... možná to n?kdo má. ital volal do rádia a vypráv?l svoje zážitky z dovolené v USA.. a jak díky své špatné výslovnosti angli?ntiny m?l trable...

v restauraci... "aj vot tu pis on a plejt" "j? betr not pis on a plate j? sanama bi?" atd
jj, mazec

EDIT: "hý sed pís on ju end aj sed pis on ju tu"
__________________
Powerful Motorsport Team
Opera for better browsing
metal4ever, BLDC, last.fm
Core2Duo T7500 2,2GHz, 2GB RAM, ATI mobility radeon HD2600

Last edited by zipper; 12.9.2006 at 23:16.
zipper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12.9.2006   #1505
Peet.cz
Member

 
Peet.cz's Avatar
 
Join Date: 15.6.2005
Location: Brno
Posts: 138
Default
... aj vont fok on d tejbl...
__________________

TEAM : KnipeX-Racing
Peet.cz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13.9.2006   #1506
P@cho
Member

 
P@cho's Avatar
 
Join Date: 15.4.2005
Location: Kežmarok (SK)
Posts: 393
Default
...sem ten kibl mi dej, du uen blejt.
__________________
http://pbmining.com?ref=Pacho
P@cho is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13.9.2006   #1507
Gabelhirsch
Regular Member

 
Gabelhirsch's Avatar
 
Join Date: 22.4.2005
Location: Hromnice
Posts: 673
Default
demoli?ní video
__________________
Team: ACTUAL LINUX e-Racing Team . . . . . . Sponzor: ACTUAL LINUX s.r.o.
Jabber: alert.gabel(zavinac)jabber.actual.cz . . MSN: gabelhirsch(zavinac)hotmail.com
S1 + S2 since 2005-08-04 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . láska na první svodidla
Gabelhirsch is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13.9.2006   #1508
Mrazak
Newbie

 
Mrazak's Avatar
 
Join Date: 24.4.2006
Location: Praha
Posts: 98
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabelhirsch
to mi p?ipomíná jeden vtípek co jsem slyšel... možná to n?kdo má. ital volal do rádia a vypráv?l svoje zážitky z dovolené v USA.. a jak díky své špatné výslovnosti angli?ntiny m?l trable...

v restauraci... "aj vot tu pis on a plejt" "j? betr not pis on a plate j? sanama bi?" atd
Tohle myslis?

One day ina gonna Detroit to a bigga hotel. Inna morning i go down to breakfast. I tella the waitress i wanna two pisses of toast. She bringa me one piss. I tella two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna plate. She say you better no piss onna the plate, you sonna a bitch.
Later i go out to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress bring back me a spoon and knife and no fock. I tell her i wanna fock. She tells me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say you better no fock onna table, you sonna a bitch.
So i go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I calla the manager and tell him I wanna shit. He tells me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna shit onna the bed. He say you better not shit onna the bed, you sonna a bitch.
I go to the check-out and the man at the desk say " Peace on you ", I say " piss onna you too you sonna a bitch, I gonna back to Italy ".
__________________
Opteron 144@2,94GHz|TR Ultra 90|2GB RAM Pqi 425MHz cl2,5-3-3-6|Sapphire X1950Pro AGP@615/1600MHz|DFI LP UT nF3 Ultra-D|HDD 80+250GB|Razer Diamondback Plasma, Logitech G15, Momo Racing, DFP, Formula Force GP *RIP*
Mrazak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13.9.2006   #1509
Peet.cz
Member

 
Peet.cz's Avatar
 
Join Date: 15.6.2005
Location: Brno
Posts: 138
Default
jj to je ono
ale v mp3 je to da best...
sem se u toho malem pochcal...
__________________

TEAM : KnipeX-Racing
Peet.cz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13.9.2006   #1510
Kid222
Moderator

 
Kid222's Avatar
 
Join Date: 4.12.2005
Location: Bezm?rov
Posts: 3 446
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peet.cz
jj to je ono
ale v mp3 je to da best...
sem se u toho malem pochcal...
nebyla by ta mp3jka nekde ke stazeni?
__________________
Achievement unlocked:
Get 3rd place in forum spam rank
Kid222 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13.9.2006   #1511
Peet.cz
Member

 
Peet.cz's Avatar
 
Join Date: 15.6.2005
Location: Brno
Posts: 138
Default
bohuzel
kdysi sem to mel, ale uz to je nejakej ten patek
kdyby to nekdo mel, tak by to mohl nekam nahodit
__________________

TEAM : KnipeX-Racing
Peet.cz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13.9.2006   #1512
dmichl
Member

 
dmichl's Avatar
 
Join Date: 30.10.2005
Location: Brno
Posts: 242
Default
to mi pripomnelo jeden, jak v lepsim ceskem hotelu zvoni telefon na recepci, pikolik to zvedne a ono se ozve: "two rums to room two two two". pikolik se zamysli a povida: " tramtadada da, ty debile...."
__________________
______________________________
lemra racing team. L| Dan Michl
dmichl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14.9.2006   #1513
Agarash
Moderator

 
Agarash's Avatar
 
Join Date: 25.7.2004
Location: Pelh?imov
Posts: 1 996
Thumbs up
jj ten je dobrej
Agarash is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 14.9.2006   #1514
Ondrejko
LFS Guru

 
Ondrejko's Avatar
 
Join Date: 13.5.2005
Location: Košice
Posts: 2 773
Default
http://my.break.com/Media/View.aspx?ContentID=141886
Ondrejko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15.9.2006   #1515
NEXT
Regular Member

 
NEXT's Avatar
 
Join Date: 17.1.2006
Posts: 555
Default
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrazak
Tohle myslis?

One day ina gonna Detroit
az na to ze byl na Malte, ne v Detroitu
tady to mate i s obrazkama

EDIT:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ondrejko
narez, myslim, ze tu mame novy modni trend, tohle by se mohlo chytit, jdu si postavit fabriku a najmout inzenyry a par ukrajincu a hura na masovou produkci specialnich stuntovacich koleckovych kresel

EDIT2: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/84919/smart_animals/ nejvic se mi libil asi ten ptak, peknej vychcavka
__________________
Motorstorm Racing
Logitech DFP, I Live for Speed since 10/2004, S2 Licenced since 28.2.2006
Last edited by NEXT; 15.9.2006 at 23:59.
NEXT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16.9.2006   #1516
Kuba(CZE)
Member

 
Kuba(CZE)'s Avatar
 
Join Date: 26.2.2005
Location: Prágl
Posts: 199
Default
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgTFFP2wSGE
__________________
http://kuba.petriny.net
=AMD 64 4000+(234x12=2800MHz)!i 1GB ram !i NX7600GT (640/776) !i SB X-Fi !i Logitech MX518 !i Saitek R440=
Kuba(CZE) is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16.9.2006   #1517
ThorR
Senior Member

 
ThorR's Avatar
 
Join Date: 12.2.2006
Location: Ostrava,F-M
Posts: 1 002
Default
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nojWJ6-XmeQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7K-Vhog9V0
__________________
► Powerful Motorsport Team ◄→ P4 3GHz → Ati X700PRO → MSI 915P → 1GB RAM → 350GB HDD → DFP
ThorR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17.9.2006   #1518
Mrazak
Newbie

 
Mrazak's Avatar
 
Join Date: 24.4.2006
Location: Praha
Posts: 98
Default
"Zdravím divákov Teleshoppingu! Volám sa Chuck Norris a chcel by som Vám predstavi? Kosmodisk. Nosím ho odvtedy, ?o som si do*ebal kríže na Total Gyme..."
__________________
Opteron 144@2,94GHz|TR Ultra 90|2GB RAM Pqi 425MHz cl2,5-3-3-6|Sapphire X1950Pro AGP@615/1600MHz|DFI LP UT nF3 Ultra-D|HDD 80+250GB|Razer Diamondback Plasma, Logitech G15, Momo Racing, DFP, Formula Force GP *RIP*
Mrazak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17.9.2006   #1519
Itar
LFS Guru

 
Itar's Avatar
 
Join Date: 22.8.2005
Location: Velké Opatovice
Posts: 2 318
Default
U toho prvního by m?lo být spíš: "Use shotgun"

EDIT: taky p?kný http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j9Pu...elated&search=
__________________
Last edited by Itar; 17.9.2006 at 13:12.
Itar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17.9.2006   #1520
Kid222
Moderator

 
Kid222's Avatar
 
Join Date: 4.12.2005
Location: Bezm?rov
Posts: 3 446
Default
:-D :-D :-D
__________________
Achievement unlocked:
Get 3rd place in forum spam rank
Kid222 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 76 of 284 « First < 266669707172737475 76 7778798081828386126176 > Last »

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 16:26.

Contact Us - Czech Live For Speed Zone - Archive - Top

Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.